- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book