Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Nice legs what time do they open

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

thumb_up thumb_down +128

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

thumb_up thumb_down +113

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you live around here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +174

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +67

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -25

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

thumb_up thumb_down -179

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

thumb_up thumb_down +68

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

thumb_up thumb_down +50

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!