why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Still a better love story than Twilight

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!