- You look really nice - I know

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Are your prices by the hour

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!