- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Jdkfk

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

"Next!"

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book