Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

all in all it was a good orgy

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

imgonna r@pe you

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

-Get in the Van

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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