Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!