Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

-Get in the Van

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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