Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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-Get in the Van

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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