- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Hey, you want a ride?

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"