Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Do you live around here often?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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