- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

Do you live around here often?

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book