- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book