Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

Do you live around here often?

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!