I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Do you live around here often?

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!