here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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NEROMETAL`S GUIDE ON HOW YOU! YES YOUUU CAN BANG 12 CHICKS AT ONCE (well I banged eleven one wussed out) Short version (Extra "short" version below) 1. YOU? YOU? LOL YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOUR HANDS DONT GET A HEADACHE WHEN YOU GET A BONER! 2. GO to your mom and say... "mommy, do you love me?" And if she says yes dear and you dont have pants or underwear on and your dick pops up and she stares at it like... "aww, thats like the nicest tiniest thing ever..." (Sigh yeah mother are like that, I know... Not really was raised by my big sister, banged her... (much better) Solvemedia: Go berskerk... BITCH DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU NEEDD TO TELL ME? WHY YOU RIDING MARCEL LIKE A HOE? Ps: I bet Harris to post a comment with over 50 LETTERS here, he refused, so now he owes me about 1800 dollars yeah, because it was not a bet, just because he owes me cash and admitted that that is the reason he "aproves" of me banging his sister. JOHN "MACK" HARRIS FIRST OF ALL I PREFER HAVING YOU IN CONSTANT DEBT, SECOND THE FUCK IF I NEED YOUR APROVAL HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SHE STILL CANT SITT WITHOUT LIFTING HER TIGHTS A BIT? I AM LIKE "GIRL YOUR ASSHOLE IS TOO TIGHT" SHE IS ALL LIKE "PLEASE OH PLEASE OOOH YES YES HARDER" And then my dick gets squashed again... Ouchie... But you know... HARRIS YOUR SISTERS ASS IS NOT TOO TIGHT ANYMORE! GIVE ME A THUMBS UP... Uh... How to say it political... Nevermind, I call him niggs or bro, he is pale... Yeah, white, casper. HARRIS! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND POST FIFTHY FUCKING WORDS AND YOU OWE ME NOTHING (Your sister is mine "bro" she even calls me "bro", and since I fucked my sister which raised me, im really cool with that) Or else Harris (I sent him/You harris an email) Ill want my money tomorrow at exactly 12:00 am, or else some accidents, might happen to your knees... Nah... Ill just hmm... You know I am a lawyer right? Ill sue you for everything you got... ...Yeah because a guy that constantly owes his overlord money has so much to sue away from... JUST STOP BEING A CHICKENSHIT HARRIS!

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Nice legs what time do they open

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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