-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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