Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!