I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!