*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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