- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

hey baby i just came in my pants

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

Business Y U No Advertise?

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book