I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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I hate you already.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!