Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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I hate you already.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!