Sugar-free sugar cookies

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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