hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!