Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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adam burdass

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!