Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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I hate you already.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!