Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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I hate you already.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!