A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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adam burdass

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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