- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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You allergic to semen?

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!