Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!