-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!