Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!