- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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You smell just like my mom...

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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