-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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adam burdass

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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You allergic to semen?

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!