Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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You smell just like my mom...

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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