Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!