Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

You smell just like my mom...

adam burdass

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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