I take the the out of psychotherapist

Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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