Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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