B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!