that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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You smell just like my mom...

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!