He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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