Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

-hey, come here a minute.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!