For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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