adam burdass

-hey, come here a minute.

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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