Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!