Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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You allergic to semen?

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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