Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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