Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!