Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!